Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
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