Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Just incase you were wondering, the count of ladies who have perioded on chairs at our fine restaurant is now at 3.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
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The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
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Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
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