I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
When a best friend shows up on a tricycle with a case a beer and goes "get on loser" you get on, because there is a magical adventure afoot
I'm so drunk. Liken realign drink
Like really drunk?
Or did you enjoy repositioning your drink?
It's no shave November. This is our time.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Randomize
