my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
Emergency thong? Check! Suspension bondage is a go!
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