i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
part of it is the fact that im problem drinking, and the other part is my OCD wont let me leave the bottle half-empty.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
You've created a tinder dominating monster.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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