I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
the weed was in a baggy that had little penguins on it. i am so excited you have no idea
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
I may or may not have had sex last night then sent him home on a bike with two flats
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Like my mom really needs to know just how non existent my sex life is
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
