I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
You were pretty conviced that my dog was a spanish child and kept trying to read him the news from your iphone app
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
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