I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
so i think im going to actually use my calories on food today instead of beer.
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
