Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Also, two points for knowing me well enough to know I definitely would put the moves on his brother.
Randomize
