i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
he nicknamed his dick "too big to fail"
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
you dipped you banana in queso last night.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
The dicks good but it's not two trains and a bus good.
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