If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
151 hangover. Need apocalypse.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
Self reach around competition is what the Olympics has been missing all along. A true test of athleticism.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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