I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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