You work out of a Hotel?
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I offered to go down on her because of how impressive her theatre career was. Stop letting me talk to lesbians.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
