Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
All signs point to mom being high. 1) making chicken at 2 am. 2) dancing to smooth jazz. 3) she asked where the peanut butter was
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
Jenny was looking for something soft to drink since it's only noon, she chose spiced rum. Think she might die today
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
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