bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
You may now shotgun with the bride
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
Alvin just won tickets on the radio. I guess he's out of jail.
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
