she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
That's MADAM THUNDERCUNT to you
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
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