If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Dude. That is just waaaay to much random to process after that tequila battle.
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
Right?? Give me some apple scented candles and I'm a fall wet dream
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
