see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I appreciate the I'll come bail you out of jail tone in the text
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
Randomize
