Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Randomize
