Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
Everyone here is taking crazy amounts of mescaline and I'm just over here like hey have you tried the pretzel rolls mmm
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
