Dude, no joke... I lost my wedding ring in some skank last night
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I cont stop tolking in a british axsent
So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i lost my phone in the process of getting a condom out of my hair
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize