My mom just told me to drench my entire body in vodka for 20 minutes. I have never been this russian. no one has ever been this russian
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Fuckkkk i made out with a freshman.....but he's old for his age. THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOURE NOT AROUND.
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
Remember when I peed in the trash can in the ATM room last night?
Never thought I'd say this, but thank god for my blackouts.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I have cobwebs on my vagina for halloween. And bats fly out when I open my legs.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
It's one PM on a Saturday and I'm sitting here drinking Jack, eating a block of cheese and playing Minecraft. Please tell me you can come drag me to a bar.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
