Dude, I just rear-ended a cab
Are you drunk?
A little...yes
Run!
Terrible brother advice.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
I apologize for forcing you to look at my boob when we were high. It was uncalled for
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
He came over hammered at four in the morning with roses trying to get me back when my new fling opened the door he just stood there crying for 40mins even after we closed the door
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
My dad just accidentally taught me how to make fake IDs. I love my life.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I, soberly, gave myself a concussion trying to take a pic of my vagina. Fuck you and your hangover.
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
Randomize
