You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
it's great music for shaving your balls
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
Randomize
