I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
You woke up in the middle of the night and told me we won the sweepstakes, the penis sweepstakes.
Come on. It's already happy hour in Europe...Man up. "I'm at work" and "it's a tuesday" are not valid excuses.
You know we had a good night last night when today I opened up my Google Translate application and the language is set to Persian and the phrase to translate is "I want you to suck my dick".
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
I feel like I should be doing a victory lap around my house to the rocky music, or zapping and smiting people with my mystic wizard powers
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I just love that a strip club has taco Tuesday.
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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