So you threw a sword at me last night
I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Randomize
