I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
He wants a "vagina fling" before he commits to dick for life. I'm gonna allow it.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
