omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
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