i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Apparently, banging my bartender ex-girlfriend = free drinks again. Not every bad decision is a wrong decision.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
