I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I'm staying in tonight, it's my Christmas present to my liver.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Oh god I just had an orgasim riding my bike. I need to get laid pronto.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
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