Nothing is worse than puking naked in front of strangers
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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