I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
