when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
Pretty sure I just convinced a drunk guy at the train station that I was from the future
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
We need to get me chipped asap
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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