My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
I was wondering why he was in my phone as "Cat Guy", he seemed pretty normal. Then when we woke up he was wearing a shirt with a picture of his cat on it. The name stays.
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
