if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
You stood up gave the stripper 15 ones in a wad, hugged her and then sat back down.
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I decided I was tough enough to wax my bikini area myself. Long story short, I'll be drunk when you get home
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
