I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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