We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said "the two best ways to sober up are to nurse someone or give a blowjob" and im gonna go along with it.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize