I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I woke up to 30 angry texts and her Chihuahua in my room. Can you drop him off for me?
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I thought he was foreign, but it turns out when you're that drunk, an Ohio accent just sounds Russian.
Fuck me I smell like cheese
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