Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
he's had a change of heart. and besides, we could use a laugh.
oh, well, if you all need a good laugh, by all means endanger my life.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
A bitchslap is in order.
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
