4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
