Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
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