You work out of a Hotel?
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Apparently she was filling Miller Lite bottles with water because I refused to be seen drinking water in a bar
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
