What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
$1.99 mimosas n bloodys til 3. Happy hour starts at 4. We're gonna ride the mechanical bull to kill the hour inbetween.
Please take video.
I'm on the strip, it's like a mini new years eve. Some girl just got taken away on a stretcher with her meter margarita in her hand claiming it's trophy for being awesome. Damn tourists are lightweights.
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
judging by the mobile uploads you added of me last night, we cant keep living this way.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
Well it's 2pm. Time for another game of "Who, What, Where". The game where you try to guess who this girl is, what happened last night, and where'd your shit go. I'm going for 1/3 today.
That's better than I've done so far.
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
