Dude, she looked like the Canadian Slam Poet, neck hair and all.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
ttyl tear gas
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
