Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
Can I color on your dick again?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
Stop leaving buckets of wine at my house.
I balled in the shower for 20 minutes, rolled up to the meeting late looking like a gremlin, and my one night stand was standing there in a suit
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
