I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
You are COMPLAINING that the sex was too good. You're not getting any sympathy from me
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
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