like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my throat hurts so bad i feel like i just gave head to a cactus.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I was woken up at 6 am by a second grader trying to give me a sweatshirt for a pillow
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
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