Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
you probably should not have drank the wine that everyone spits out. and the sad part, that was not even your low point last night
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
You sent me a picture of curly fries with no explanation attached. This is the first time you've texted me in 2 months.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
