Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
Randomize