I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
WE HAD GREAT SEX AND I HATE MYSELF FOR IT
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
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