You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
I'll be really easy to find... I'm the naked one rolling around in cats.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
I had sex on a dinosaur comforter, tell me that does not define my life.
I’m a coke loving, addy selling, pot smoking CRIMINOLOGY major. If there isn't irony in that I give up.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
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