i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
Randomize
