i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
I just hotboxed my laundry basket.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize
