Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
Well you tried to pay for a drink with your keys for one...
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Fuck that guy and his dumb haircut and awesome dick
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Speaking of dignity, who all saw me....
Randomize
