Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
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