It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Ps you missed quite a show. I was for some reason whipping my hair back and forth and head butted the tip jar. It shattered and now I have a circular bruise on my forehead. All the bartenders hit the floor to get all the quarters.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.