We won't sleep together?
If I were trying to take advantage of you I would have maxed out all your credit cards by now.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
These Attractive Criminals Took Sexy Mugshots That Made Them Famous
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash