Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
No, I don't think Michelle is a squirter. And if I've had anal sex, the Obamas have.
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Tumblr User Tells Story About A ‘Demon Gets Adopted By A Grandma’& It Needs To Be A F**king Movie
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Did I actually say goodbye last night or did I just poison you with vodka and disappear?
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
Is it bad that I feel proud to be the first one to puke in the apartment? And I did it in style?
You straight up painted the counter with steak, tequila and beer. You owe me a knew toothbrush.
20+ Kids Who Probably Didn’t Mean To Draw Hardcore Porn
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i need to put some appletini on your dick
DUDE FUCK CALL ME SHE HAS GRANDKIDS
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.