I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...