i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
we passed out in our seats at the game for about 3innings. I guess they showed it on the big screen. nap n rally!
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
I'm gonna make out with this 38 yr old. Mark my words. I don't even have daddy issues.
Randomize
