He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
Just found a shot glass and plan b in my backpack...
Im guessing the shot glass is for plan c?
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
I forgive you, at least you vote. I found out my fuck buddy isn't even registered. I won't fuck a non respectable citizen.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
Randomize
