I'm almost 25, which means I can ride with girls that have permits
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
So last night took an interesting turn.. Never thought I'd say I had to pick up my glasses off the floor of a strip club
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
The notary thing was a good idea. I can charge $2 per signature. I'm currently being paid in beer.
Randomize
