I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
Excuse me hold on, hooking up with someone who is verified on twitter is like being important.
I'm going to make out with someone. I'm on a mission. I don't even care if I'm wearing beer goggles. As long as he's not shorter than me, gay, or a woman.
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
So many questions so I’ll prioritize. How did I survive last night?
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
Randomize
