Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I just woke up in the coolest sweatsuit i have ever seen..it has cory's name on the tag...do we know a cory?
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize
