she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
After her AA meeting, she was on the phone with her mom, and when she said, "they're making me start over with Step 1," I quietly sang, "cut a hole in the box".
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
