To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
I found a ladder. I don't know where I am. Gonna climb it. I feel like aladin
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I just tripped out to the Angel of Music from Phantom of the Opera in my car. Wayyyy to high for shuffle right now.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
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