Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
