You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
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My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
It's a special occasion. Hence the 151.
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
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He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
I just instagramed a picture of an ostrich in case you were wondering what I did with my night
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Your sister just admitted to being a " much bigger bitch" than you. So you've got that going for you, which is nice.
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