at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
