I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize
