Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I can now say I know getting hit in the face with a flying tortilla is not fun
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
