So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
Randomize
