i can totally see doctors naming an STD after you
when i asked what day 420 fell on this year, she answered so quickly i knew i found my soulmate.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
So, I've discovered that I'm approximately 70% nicer to my mother when I've had an orgasm in the last 48 hours. It's science.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
