I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I can't tell whether I'm a) still hungover from two nights ago, b) legitimately sick or c) all of the above... multiple choice was never my forte
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
I tripped while walking across the stage and while trying to pick my diploma back up my flask fell out in front of the dean
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
He texted me at 3am that you cut your hand at the bar and were bleeding all over.
I woke up to a text thinking you bled out at a bar, turns out you got your butthole licked.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
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