i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
My orifices are off limits as long as you have that stache. Your call.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
TRY TO UNDERSTAND I HAVE MAGIC POWERS HOLY FUCKING SHIT
well you're talking to a woman who had glorious sex less than 24 hrs ago so my opinion is biased.
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